Trailer Trash Haiku
Culture for the Less Sensitive Soul
Saturday, December 4, 2010
Silver Glint
Silver glint
Of beer-can snowflakes
On the tree.
Gingerly
Gingerly
My flesh touches
This cold commode.
Bell Ringin'
Bell ringin'...
And one sly hand
Filchin' quarters.
Toys fer Tots
Toys fer Tots;
But tots won't need
Thet mp3...
Thursday, November 25, 2010
Old Pond
Old pond.
Snappin' turtle
Taste like turkey.
Thanksgiving
Thanksgiving.
Humungous blimp
On the sofa.
Beer Gut
Beer gut
Blowed up with turkey;
Big belch.
Turkey Bone
Turkey bone.
Cletis sets ther
pickin' his teeth.
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Big Buck
Big buck
Leaps into the wind!
Now stuffed.
Strange Sounds
Strange sounds...
Our satellite dish
Receivin' Mars.
Tannin' Bed
Tannin' bed...
I lay dreamin'
Of summer.
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
Hitchhikin'
Hitchhikin'
Cuz she took my truck
And left.
Eleven...
Eleven...
Turn on the news.
Ther I am.
Old Lady
Old lady...
I keep her in line!
Yeah, bud.
Saturday, September 11, 2010
Old Pond
Old pond.
I toss a gun...
One big ripple.
Septic Tank
Septic tank...
The line backs up!
Rotten smell.
Lunch Plate
Lunch plate.
One fly settles.
Preening...
Stereo
Stereo
Don't work no more.
Silence...
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Penny
Penny!
She bends to grasp it.
Unfortunate...
Old Pond
Old pond.
A barrel sinks!
Chemicals...
Flecks of Paint
Flecks of paint.
My hand is silver
From keying cars.
Monday, August 23, 2010
Old Pond
Old pond.
Snapping turtles
Taste like chicken...
Full Moon
Full moon...
I share it with
A baying hound.
Lonesome...
Lonesome...
My old lady
Changed the locks.
Sunday, August 22, 2010
Tattoos
Tattoos
Is really art!
Bend over...
Old Ford
Old Ford.
Blowed a rod!
Smokin'...
Old Car
Old car...
Shove it into
Thet old pond.
Thursday, August 19, 2010
Winder.
Winder.
I peek in!
Girls scream...
Learnin'
Learnin'.
Whut's the point?
I lay out.
Flat Palm
Flat palm
Against his mullet...
How he preens!
Mason Jar
Mason jar.
I take a swig!
Burning...
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Parking Lot
Parking lot.
I slash a tire!
Hissing sound...
Sixteen.
Sixteen.
Just mangled!
Hot rod...
Old Pond
Old pond.
Hold your nose!
Raw sewage...
Thursday, August 12, 2010
Old Pond
Old pond.
Schoolbook floating!
Ripples...
Summer's End
Summer's end.
The bus rolls by
Without me...
Back to School
Back to school.
Mullet or mohawk?
Decisions...
Thursday, August 5, 2010
End of Summer...
End of summer...
Mullet? Or mohawk?
Decisions...
Scavenging
Scavenging
At the dump;
A fly buzzes.
Old Pond
Old pond.
Good fer dumpin'
Refrigerators...
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
Old Pond
Old pond
Glows so strange...
Toxic waste.
Paycheck
Paycheck...
Scratch-off tickets,
Here I come!
Neighbor's Car
Neighbor's car.
I strew some nails.
Just wait...
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
Ceiling Fan
Ceiling fan
Brushes the top
Of her big hair.
Empty Suitcase
Empty suitcase;
Now so full
Of stolen sheets...
Old Pond
Old pond.
Five-legged frog!
Nuclear runoff.
~In honor of Oak Ridge
Sunday, August 1, 2010
Old Pond
Old pond.
Sack in my hand ~
Kittens mewing...
Tin Can
Tin can.
I spit tobacker!
Missed it.
Thet Roadkill
Thet roadkill
Looks pretty fresh...
I'll risk it.
Friday, July 30, 2010
Old Pond
Old pond.
I strip naked!
Sounds of laughter...
Forest Ranger
Forest ranger.
Hide that bait!
Howdy, sir.
Fourteen
Fourteen.
I snag a beer!
Guzzling sounds.
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Old Jeans
Old jeans ~
Hole in the rear...
Butt cheeks!
Old Boots
Old boots.
I take 'em off.
Smells so rotten!
Old Pond
Old pond.
Mosquiters hatch.
Sounds of buzzing...
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Old Broad
Old broad.
She strips naked!
Sounds of gagging.
Old Pond.
Old pond.
A frog jumps out!
Radioactive.
~ In honor of Oak Ridge, Tennessee
Freezer
Freezer;
Heave it into
Thet old pond.
Monday, July 26, 2010
Doorway
Doorway:
She stoops low ~
Big hair.
Truckload
Truckload
Of mason jars;
A siren sounds...
Lunch Bag
Lunch bag ~
While he searches,
I slip away...
Saturday, July 24, 2010
Bra Strap...
Bra strap...
I itch to snap it!
(Slap!)
Thet Boy!
Thet boy!
He's a odd one ~
Readin' books...
Free Samples...
Free samples...
I stand in line
Twicet.
Friday, July 23, 2010
Hangover...
Hangover...
Porcelain, so white ~
I am blind.
Drunken
Drunken;
Face to the ground.
Earl is out.
Police!
Police!
Dive out the back;
I'll stall 'em.
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Big-haired Blonde
Big-haired blonde;
She looks my way...
Seventy.
Motel...
Motel...
My pickup out front?!
Thet damn Clo!
Summertime;
Summertime;
Smells of garbage...
Landfill.
Look at Merline
Look at Merline ~
Thet butt jist-a shinin'!
Hussy!
Short skirts.
Short skirts.
Trailer-park boy
Bends to look.
Rent...? Big screen...?
Rent...? Big screen...?
Hard decision...?
Not really.
Black hair ain't me;
Black hair ain't me;
Red neither.
Bleach it!
Monday, July 19, 2010
Glove Box
Glove box;
Layin' open...
Underdrawers!
My Love
My love!
She walks in beauty ~
Short shorts.
So Naïve
So naïve.
Watch me play 'im
for a fool!
Sunday, July 18, 2010
Chicken
Chicken
Roosting on my grill...
Death wish?
White Clouds...
White Clouds...
A big-haired lady
Drifts by.
Art Show
Art show...
Black-velvet Elvis.
Tears fall.
Friday, July 16, 2010
Our Bedroom
Our bedroom.
Marble eyes, staring...
Deer heads.
Six Pack
Six pack...
Feelin' a buzz.
'Bout time.
Kitchen Floor
Kitchen floor:
Tater peels
Make good skates.
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Went Down to D.O.L.
Went down to D.O.L.
And I am S.O.L.
Crap!
Empty House
Empty house.
My old woman
Done up and left.
Look, Flo ~
Look, Flo ~
Chainsaw Massacre!
It's a classic.
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Peephole...
Peephole...
Visions of beauty!
Ladies' restroom.
Young 'un!
Young 'un!
Take yer ma's I.D.
Git me some beer.
Roadkill ~
Roadkill ~
Legal dinner
In ten states.
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
4x Short Shorts
4x short shorts ~
A seam gives way!
Scarred for life.
Makeup
Makeup ~
Humungous hickey
Now hid.
Summertime...
Summertime...
Briars tangled
Among old tires.
Monday, July 12, 2010
Hungover
Hungover.
Work week so dreary...
Till payday!
Gideon Bible
Gideon Bible
Brings fifteen cents...
Thrift store.
Contract...?
Contract...?
Lord-a-mercy, Clo...
Vinyl sidin'?!
Sunday, July 11, 2010
Sunday Mornin'
Sunday mornin'...
Consciousness comes.
Wher am I?
Saturday Night
Saturday night;
Suds on my moustache...
Life is good.
Jolene.
Jolene.
Big hips a-swayin'...
Yearnings.
Lightning Storm!
Lightning storm!
Big screen all blowed up.
Mourning...
Friday, July 9, 2010
Staggerin' Home...
Staggerin' home...
Her shape in the door ~
Unwelcoming.
Clo's Home!
Clo's home!
Wait here ~ I'm-on' git
Me a little.
So Lovely...
So lovely...
Gracefully she turns
And spits.
Big Bosom
Big bosom;
Such a young thang...
Tissue, maybe?
Bare Walls
Bare walls;
My deer heads all gone!
Divorce.
Drive-In Movie
Drive-in movie;
Open 'at trunk
And climb in...
Thursday, July 8, 2010
Cheater!
Cheater!
Deceivin' Flo ~
And her preggers.
Big Thighs
Big thighs;
Floppin' together...
Turns Earl on.
Lottery...
Lottery...
Rims of pure gold!
One day...
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
Thet Blonde Ho!
Thet blonde ho!
And ther goes Earl
Actin' a fool.
Flyin' Saucer
Flyin' saucer
Come a-hoverin'...
Earl is gone.
Round Form.
Round form
Eclipsing the moon...
Satellite dish.
Road Crew...
Road crew...
A hot dame walks by.
Break time.
Dead Gnat
Dead gnat;
Floats in a beer...
End of party.
House Arrest
House arrest;
Many quiet moments
to write haiku.
Monday, July 5, 2010
Engagement Ring!
Engagement ring!
I woulda put out ~
Fer five bucks...
So purty...!
So purty...!
Not one bad tooth ~
In her head.
Thet Beached Whale
Thet beached whale
On the horizon ~
Is a trailer.
Saturday, July 3, 2010
Hey Earl!
Hey Earl!
My bottle rocket ~
Is bigger'n your'n.
Big Boom!
Big boom!
The sky lights up ~
Meth lab.
Charcoal
Charcoal ~
Sudden flame!
Hair smoulders.
Fourth of July
Fourth of July...
And Earl in the E.R.
Déjà vu!
Friday, July 2, 2010
Dandelion
Dandelion...
She bends to pick it.
Ah, cleavage!
Beauty Salon
Beauty Salon;
Opening special...
Real big hair!
Our Kitchen
Our kitchen...
Melons have soured ~
Swarming gnats!
Tannin' Bed
Tannin' bed;
Dreamin' I'm at the beach...
All scorchy brown!
Friday Night...
Friday night ~
My broad at my side...
Par-tay-y-y!
Blue Eye Shadder
Blue eye shadder;
I douse my eyelids...
Wooo! Lookin' hot!
Thursday, July 1, 2010
Summer Heat
Summer heat;
Open window, tempting!
I crawl in...
Pocketbook...
Pocketbook...
She looks away. Quick!
My pocket, full.
Rain! I Wait...
Rain! I wait...
You will lay thet umbrella ~
By the door.
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Making Love ~
Making love ~
She runs her hands
Through my big mullet.
Leftover Beer.
Leftover beer.
Toddling round the table,
My boy sips...
My Woman...
My woman...
Such wiry muscles!
She'll kick your ass.
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Thet Meter Man
Thet meter man ~
Been meterin' Mavis!
Whup-ass time...
Old Ford
Old Ford;
The door come off...
Duct tape.
Steam...
Steam...
Foggin' up the windshield...
Smoochin' sounds.
Monday, June 28, 2010
Mail Boxes
Mail boxes.
Gimme a ball bat!
Hooooo! Fun.
Weed Eater
Weed Eater.
Thet'll bring good money.
Filchin'...
Lunch Box;
Lunch box;
Thet roofer's got 'is head turned.
Mmmmmm. Baloney.
Old Lady...
Old lady...
She done up and left me!
Silence.
Sunday, June 27, 2010
Paternity
Paternity...
I got to pay child support?!
Thet dang ho.
My Check Come
My check come.
I'm-on' git thet big screen!
Rent can wait.
Here, Young'un ~
Here, young'un ~
Sup this white likker. Hee!
Burned ye, huh?
Saturday, June 26, 2010
Parked Car
Parked car;
Back alley, so dark...
Sounds of mating...
Cop Car
Cop car!
Blue lights, flashing...
I lay low.
No Loitering
No loitering.
No pilfering.
I feel unwelcome...
Friday, June 25, 2010
Soft Butt on a Barstool
Soft butt on a barstool;
I pinch!
One loud scream...
Grease in a Skillet
Grease in a skillet...
What tiny creature ~
Has left its prints?
Street Lamp
Street lamp;
I th'ow a rock.
Sounds of glass, breaking.
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Maintenance Call
Maintenance call.
Hooters all around me!
Work slow, and peek...
Midnight...
Midnight...
I slip out the winder!
An engine revs.
Waiting to Wed...
Waiting to wed...
But Mama says ~
Not till yer fourteen!
Beer Can...
Beer can...
Stick a flower in it.
Now, a vase!
Recliner
Recliner.
A spring pops out!
Cushion, sagging...
Blue Water
Blue water;
I pee in the pool.
Now, yellow...
Car Door
Car Door...
I duct-taped it shut.
Use the window!
Pay Day
Pay Day ~
The water is back on...
Fill the pool!
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
Road Trip.
Road trip.
Headin' for Alabamer...
I done broke parole!
Donation jar...
Donation jar...
Filch me a quarter!
That clerk ain't lookin'.
Rubber Hose
Rubber hose.
Fumes burn my nostrils.
Siphoning...
Monday, June 21, 2010
Kitchen Window
Kitchen window ~
Maw's teeth in a glass...
Fizzing.
Breaking Bread
Breaking bread...
Much more hospitable ~
Than breaking wind.
Cock Fight
Cock fight.
Banty rooster leaps and claws!
Feathers gently float.
Dark Basement
Dark basement.
Hush! Lay low.
Bill collector, knocking...
Sunday, June 20, 2010
Summer Heat
Summer heat.
Tank top, clings to flesh...
I sweat.
A Bride Blushes
A bride blushes.
Camouflage, so green.
It clashes!
Monday Morning...
Monday morning...
Beer cans assault my eyes.
Reproach!
Saturday, June 19, 2010
Summer Day
Summer day.
Tee shirt, dripping...
Such massive flesh!
Dawn.
Dawn.
Big catfish, hooked!
Poacher...
Skinny Dip
Skinny dip.
Lardass springs, wild!
Minnows quietly nibble...
Friday, June 18, 2010
March, April, May
March, April, May...
Whut happened?
On a drunk.
Inspiration
Inspiration.
Ain't got none...
Lately.
Rabbit, hopping
Rabbit, hopping.
I speed up...
Roadkill!
Friday, February 19, 2010
Winter Chill
Cold Winter.
Old Ford, silent.
Shove hard!
Saturday, January 16, 2010
Icy Pond
Icy pond;
Four-wheelers...
Slidin'
Yeller Spots...
Yeller spots...
Melting snow.
Careful!
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